Today my fear was confirmed by a professional recruiter. We talked for about 20 minutes while she explained that without a license – I will not find a job. She said they also changed everything for medical doctors recently. They have to be Board Certified or they will not have a job. I am not alone in this situation. A graduate degree is just not acceptable for insurance companies anymore. So, my 34 years of helping people, my sleepless nights, overtime, caring, thousands of birthday cakes for kids, hundred thousand hours on the phone for emergency situations, miles driving to get someone from where they were and the endless hours of hoping for the best for people now has no value. My profession – regardless of the countless success stories- don’t seem to matter. In my early 50s, everything I thought I was meant to do in this life, what brought me fulfillment and joy and worth, is off limits to me now. I am not bitter. I am highly concerned as to what to do now, but I am grateful for every tear, every miracle I saw in people I had the honor to work with. I am grateful for the clients I see evolve from this website. I will never stop caring and loving and helping people. I just have to figure out how to get people from here. I am listening. LifeMattersCounselingLLC.com #suggestions #bethebestyou #lifematterscounselingllc.com #whattodonow
Did you ever notice that all that really changes is your mind? You live in the same place, shop in he same stores for the same food and work in the same field every day. You wash the same clothes and call the same friends and all that changes is your mind. Perception is everything. The way you think something is, is exactly the way it is until you see it from a different view. When you find yourself looking at something in a negative light, turn on a light. Change your mind about that thing, just change your perception, and watch everything else fall into place. Lifematterscounselingllc.com #changeyourmind #lifematters #bethebestversionofyou
The reason I have not written a blog in a while is because I felt like I was being bombarded with negative world events. I am so used to having a life of peace and serenity that when there is so much loss or disasters or disregard for the human condition, I tend to feel disconnected. It is difficult for me to understand judgement and hate. It is impossible for me to understand lack of compassion for human suffering. There has been a great deal of people treating other people poorly due to whatever personal reasons they have to see anyone as less than themselves. The fear this feeling of separation causes in many people manifests in anger, aggression, violence or depression. I see so many people feeling this way and behaving outside of their regular patterns of behavior. The challenge to see and feel beauty, happiness and peace in these turbulent uncertain times, especially when you are directly affected by a natural disaster, is seemingly impossible. What do you do? You have gratitude. Tons of gratitude because so many others have it worse than you. You know you will eventually be alright. Life has taught you that many times. In the moment though, when you are all caught up in the crazy of it all, what do you do? Dig in deep. Remind yourself that feelings are not facts. Remember most things are temporary, and though love is still the strongest most permanent force on earth, you have to find faith in the love you have for life. Breathe. Talk to a trusted person. Give yourself time to do nothing. Be. Remove non harmfulrestrictions for a while. Read your favorite book over again. Listen to the wind and the rain. Hold someone’s hand. Pet your dog. Help a neighbor in some random way. Hold doors. Say hello to strangers. They are all feeling the way you do. It’s easier if we are in this together. Love. That’s the only answer. Love yourself. Love those you do not understand. Just love everyone. We can do this.
Lifematterscounselingllc.com #together #bethebestyou #loveistheanswer
The hurricaine is coming. It is effecting everyone in Florida. The first responders will do what they can. The non profit agencies will do what they can. The generous companies that practice putting people above profit will do what they can. Ultimately however, we have to take care of each other. Take care of your neighbors. The elderly, the single parents, the disabled and the people who were unable or uninformed of what they needed to do. Without judgement, just help. Just be kind. If you have a chainsaw, cut up the fallen tree limbs. If you have the ability, help stack the piles of wood. Share your resources. Share your strength. Share your kindness. It is the way the world actually works. Lifematterscounselingllc.com #helpeachother #community #bethebestyou
Do you ever have a case of the blahs? Those periods of time where nothing is really bad and nothing is really good. You go through the motions of living and maintain your responsibilities though you have little to no motivation. When maybe you sleep more than usual and isolate yourself from friends?
Of course you have. We all have. I have the blahs. My best friend said I don’t do the blahs right. He said I still work and go out with friends and say hello in a cheery mood. He asked how I do that when he just goes to bed and doesn’t shower or eat. I explained that regardless of how I or we feel, we have to do the next right thing. We have to be willing to put out the best version of ourself to the best of our ability. Remind ourselves that feelings are not facts. We have to take extra good care of ourselves during the blahs, shower, exercise, cry when needed and eat well. And chocolate- of course you have a bit of chocolate. Tomorrow is another day. Have faith in your ability to be resilient. If you need to, take an extra day of quiet. It will, in fact, be better soon. #blahdays #dotherightthing #bethebestyou
There was a line from a movie I saw the other night stating “you are what you love, not who loves you”. This sentence struck me. It was a thinker. Then, I think I understood it. We are made up of all that we love. For example I am my dog, rock music, purple, friends, sun, sand, oceans, puppies, laughter, serenity, aha moments, holding hands, random smiles from strangers, Italy, home cooked food, nephews, nieces, volleyball, water in any form, traveling, philosophy, and so much more!! Those who love me, are some of my favorite people, but if they didn’t love me, I would still be all of who I am, not less at all. Being what we love is what matters. Those who do not love us have no influence on who we are. This was good to remember. I hope you know who you are by what you love. I hope you know that who you are is not contingent on any other person loving you. #bethebestyou #youarewhatyoulove #lifematters Lifematterscounselingllc.com
When I have clients report feeling confused or uncertain, I suggest they clean and organize their linen closet. Or kitchen cabinets or clothes closet. The physical act of sorting through what is old and unnecessary versus what is cherished and important does a lot for the mind and heart, For several hours yesterday and several hours today, I cleaned out my home office space. It was overwhelming at first being unsure where to begin. It then became a journey. I found birthday cards and thank you cards from 20- 25 years ago. They made me smile and cry tears of joy. I saw photos of my friends when we were very young. I discarded papers and awards and plaques. I threw out over used tablecloths and linens. I have a box filled with office supplies that could handle the needs of a small country! I kept what was meaningful while discarding the things I used to think were important. What matters in your life? What is important to you? When you know that, you know what no longer needs to take up space in your heart or head. #lifematters #cleanthe brain #knowhatmatters lifematterscounselingllc.com
Today I had the privilege to sit with a hospice patient while her daughter and grandson told me about this woman and her 95 years of life. They spoke of her husband who died in the late 70’s and how she never re-married. They told me how she worked a fun job for years and was an incredibly nice woman. It reminds how important it is to live every moment in the moment. Stay focused on now. Be nice to people. Have no regrets. If you don’t like what you do to pay the bills, do something else. If you are told you have 2 weeks to live, in the same level of health you have now, what would do? Would you make amends? Travel? Visit your family and friends? Would you use vacation time to build that car or plant that garden? Would you create a robot or a rocking horse for your future grandchild? Would you see a magnificent sunset? Would you tell everyone you love how much they mean to you and that you love them? Good. You only have a week. Get to it. Now.
Lifematterscounselingllc.com #lifematters #cherishtoday #noregrets #gratitude #iloveyou
Recently a friend told me to let down my walls and the bitterness I was carrying. As a person who lives a life of transparency I had to stop for a minute to analyze if I had walls up and why. Tuns out I did. The why is because I had not fully accepted a life changing situation that happened out of my control over 7 years ago. I had a current life situation arise bringing that old battle scar to the forefront. I was bitter, not angry, but bitter again over the loss of a position I had for 17 years coming to an end in light of the recession. I have not found anything as satisfying as that position was since then – until now. This website. These clients I have the honor to serve remind me of how important it is to be present. I am reminded that happiness for me comes from be being of service. Thank you all. Do you need to remember what your happiness is? What makes you feel fulfilled? If so please focus on that again. Do the next right thing and your world will be right again. #lifematters #bethebestyou #letmehelp #dotheritthing lifematterscounselingllc.com
i tend to write about current situations. Today is no exception. This past weekend was the 50th birthday of a close friend. We traveled about 90 minutes to a rented condo at her favorite beach. The whole family came with all the children. I even made her favorite cake. There was her favorite meal, (chicken curry) and a few simple decorations. There were only 2 actual not fancy gifts. The next day she texted me stating that was the best Birthday EVER! Seemingly so little means so much to another person. I know presence is the only thing that really matters. I know it is the small simple things in life that carry the most heartfelt memories. I know we need to remember that our simple act of being there, of wishing someone sincere happiness with loving energy and a warm embrace is literally everything. Keep it simple. Life MattersCounselingllc.com #bethebestyou #simpleisbest #lifematters #celebratelife #presencematters